Matthew 23: 1-12
12 ” for those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
I wonder if I had been all talk or if any of my actions may have been enough to justify my belief in whom I am found to be through Christ.
There is no doubt that I struggle everyday in trying to center my life around Jesus Christ, to be more honest in truly following after His footsteps. And there is no doubt that I have struggled everyday in discerning from what is right and what is pleasurable.
The weight of my struggles burdened me even more when I saw the eyes who judged me more harshly based on my actions. It was even harder when I realized that sooner than later everyone began to distant themselves from me. Or maybe I’ve just begun to distant myself from them in fear.
To be honest I have not prayed or read the bible everyday to deepen my relationship with God till more recently this past year. Until then I was only a scavenger, searching for knowledge of the word from who’s lives are already centered around Christ. I only fed myself with the leftovers and never really allowed myself fresh meat because I was too lazy. But by His grace, even my seldom prayers and shortly lived spiritual highs had eventually stirred in me the passion to be consumed by Him daily. By His grace, I was soon found deperate to be wholly His.
When life stops being about you and all about Him, life itself just becomes a lot more desirable.
With thanksgiving to new mercies, gradually all my troubles became less of a struggle. Instead they became concomitants as to bring even more joy in life.
Finding myself victorious over many trials and temptations, as I continue to trust in the Lord. (Proverb 3:5-6)
God’s grace becomes more evident as the days goes by through my troubles to overcome them and as my will becomes more submissive to His.
My struggles are never-ending and infinite, but I no longer linger and sulk over it, only hoping they never existed. Alternatively I welcome them in my life just as I would welcome all the joys in my life because I know now that all of these struggles will only make me stronger and will only lead me closer to God as I seek Him ever more.
Gradually my lifestyle is being altered to imitate HIS ways.
It’s no longer about what satisfies me but what satisfies Him.
Then eventually all of Him will be the only thing left in me and naturally imbed my lifestyle. Being aware of how desperately I need for Him to reign in my life, acknowledging that it’s not by my will but by His power of grace, brings me down from my egocentric life and only humbling me all the more.
Because I know that without Him I am nothing.
