OD #3:Tough times

Definitely after my trip back from the motherland I haven’t been connecting so well with everyone around me. I may be exchanging smiles and hellos, but in my mind I just can’t wait till I’m back home and away from the crowd.  Theres just so many reasons I’ve just been isolating myself, for instance the never ending projects and over exhaustion from … Life?  In Korea, I was so distraught from the new environment and all the excitement with meeting my relatives and friends, that I haven’t spent time with Him. When I did it wouldn’t last over a few minutes because there wasn’t a moment I was alone. I felt deprived, for the moment… But distracted so easily that I didn’t bother doing anything about it. Not until after I came back did I realize how apathetic I’ve become, of my daily spiritual nutrition. And He humbled me even more, as I realized how spoiled I was with access to so many God friendly environments. I longed for a time of worship and praise in English and with a full band, I longed for a time of fellowship with others alike… As if this was the only way I was able to grow… Ugh I felt so disgusted at myself and shallow. But at the same time I was so relieved and thankful that there is still so much for Him to work in me… Relieved that I was still seeking Him and discontent with my current state, only because I know that He has something even greater planned for me… thankful for His very presence in my life, reminding me that though I may have turned away from Him for the time, that regardless He has never left me out of His sight, and always ready to embrace me. Yea, I think this is a good millionth start.

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